These Two Guys Would've Gotten Away With Busting Into Coors Field If It Wasn't For A Pesky Security Guard

Coors Light Shenanigans

Your morning roundup for June 19, the day some sexy finally came out of the Vancouver riots (it starts at 0:45 of this video), and the day we all wish a Happy Father's Day to the appropriate person in our lives.

What we watched: In what could be seen as a major victory for gingers globally, undefeated Mexican Saul "Canelo" Alvarez redhead-stepchilded Ryan Rhodes in a super-welterweight title bout in Canelo's hometown of Guadalajara, Mexico. It was totally lopsided. Rhodes, a Brit, barely put up a fight in the fight. The towel got thrown, but ref was already stopping the manhandling a minute into the final round.

Had it gone to the cards, Rhodes wouldn't have won a round (probably). The only interesting angles to emerge from the HBO telecast were listening to Roy Jones try to piece together coherent thought just weeks after he was brutalized in Russia, and trying to figure out what kind of spectator scrapping distracted the attention of most attendees away from the ring during the eighth and ninth rounds.

The highlight came in the super-featherweight undercard when Adrien Broner of "Team Trouble" trapped Jason "the American Boy" Litzau against the ropes with 15 seconds left in the first round. There, he proceeded to land no fewer than 13 head shots in 12 seconds until ginger referee — coincidence? — Chris Thrasher intervened.

On the plus side, boxing fans have a pretty damn good youngster to watch potentially develop into a great one.

What we're watching: The final round of the U.S. Open, of course. Not that it'll likely be exciting. Hell, Rory McIlroy added a pair of strokes to his lead to end yesterday's play eight strokes ahead of what some would call his closest "competition."

After setting the all-time 54-hole tourney record, the 22-year-old noted, "No lead is big enough. You can't get complacent. You need to keep going. Obviously having a big lead can come with its own pressure. I felt very comfortable out there today."

These words, collectively, are cliches. And these words are central-scripting for exactly what you're supposed to say. But these words come from the mouth of a kid who blew a four-stroke lead at the Masters within the past three months. So these words also explain why, on a slooooow sports day, it's worth checking out links coverage if only to make sure dude doesn't painfully morph into the loveable loser. But he won't. Because he can't. Can he? Of course not. Right?

Elsewhere

"This is a serious, serious injury": University of Nevada WR Brandon Wimberly is unlikely to ever play again after being shot Saturday morning in a players-vs.-other group scuffle in Reno.

While the injuries aren't life-threatening, they are being characterized as "life-changing." The incoming junior isn't expected to play football again.

"It's an extensive injury," said Nevada football coach Chris Ault, adding that Wimberly likely will be in the hospital for at least a week. "Another centimeter and the doctor said he might not have made it to the hospital." [Reno Gazette-Journal]

This could have been a serious, serious injury: "The White Sox needed a shock to their system after losing three consecutive games. Seeing pitcher John Danks take a line drive off his head wasn't what they had in mind.
Danks fortunately was able to laugh off one of the most frightening and bizarre scenes of the season, and the Sox responded with a much-needed 6-2 victory against the Arizona Diamondbacks on Saturday night." [Chicago Sun-Times]

Talkin' 'bout the dissolution of a relationship. Not adultery: Allen Iverson's wife Tawanna filed for divorce. Again. However, the probably-to-be-ex Mrs. Iverson maintained her husband had never cheated on her, that it's a matter of just growing apart [TMZ]. In relatively related news, Shaquille O'Neal's ex-wife says she was offered a Wilt Chamberneezy sex tape [Also TMZ].

Tiki Barber, semi-reformed nihilist: Tiki Barber will say, on HBO Tuesday night, that he was depressed when he retired from the NFL. Now, he's on "a fucking mission of redemption." Oh, good.

Told by [Armen] Keteyian that some folks at NBC viewed Barber as "entitled" and "a little too cool for school," Barber said, "I would be interested to hear someone say that to my face." [PFT]

An offer from the boob-showcasing Ukuleke Girl: I traded emails with Sarah K. of New Zealand ukulele boob fame yesterday. She shared the fact you did, in fact, help her win the $10K prize in that commercial contest. She continued that she hopes you enjoyed the encore video and asked if you had "any requests"? She's been invited to comment here, so we'll see how that goes.

Plutocratic gamesmanship:: If you're interested in watching the President play golf with white and orange dudes, here's some raw video of just that. [AP]

Nashville Predator's agent is not a strong speller: Shea Weber won something called a "medil" at the World Championships in 2007 and 2009 and the Olympics in 2010. Congrats! [On the Forecheck] (H/T Dirk H.)

We are all Dave McKenna CXXXV: Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Mike Shanahan helps Kitty Kelley ink the most damning unauthorized biography of her career.

It's as if Charles Augustus Lindbergh, Jr. was reanimated, taught to depend on a handbook of cutesy pop-culture writing gimmicks and kidnapped all over again after refusing to pay his bills: About a dozen tipsters have sent word that some site called Grantland is down this morning. Worked for me, though, not that I had any inclination to read about Jimmy Kimmel's dad, nor will I ever, even if it's a free pass out of Hell.

Where's Goldie Hawn when inner-city athletes need her?: If high-school football was a game played on an 80-yard field, Lehman High School in the Bronx would totally rule. Because that's what it has. After a $5 million renovation. Says alum Mario Romain, "There was an error somewhere in the planning. For someone to correct it, I guess it would be a little mud on somebody's face." [CBS New York]

Could there be a baseball brain-cancer cluster?: Earlier this week, a doctor wondered via op/ed whether Gary Carter's malignant brain-tumor diagnosis was sign of a cluster among similarly aged baseball men or just a tragic coincidence.

He is at least the eighth major leaguer who played or coached in or around 1980 to be diagnosed with brain cancer. Besides Carter, the list of contemporaries includes Bobby Murcer, Dick Howser, John Vukovich, Ken Brett, Johnny Oates, Dan Quisenberry and Tug McGraw. [Chicago Tribune]

(Top video H/T Negativo)