This Week In Unintentional Dong Submissions

HOLY SHIT, BONFIRE DONG!!! (As Tom G. was kind enough to share: "There was a bonfire at my brother-in-law's house and it was a big pile of brush so I decided to take a picture of a 20 foot fire. I captured a giant flaming dong.")

Amanda and her workplace cohorts "threw a going away party for our boss and this is the cake our head chef made in all its veiny glory. Throw in a cream filling and (rather delicious) happy ending, and you've got yourself a dong cake. Not exactly an 'unintentional dong' but I thought the nut sack covered in nuts was a nice touch."

No, it isn't, Amanda. But yes, it was. Here's hoping Steve feasted upon that delicacy.

"Here is a gem I came across in Phillip Island, Australia," writes Ellis. "The artist, Lars, was a third grader when he drew his superhero Dick Man (I'm sure you can guess what his powers are). The parents proudly posted this refrigerator material."

It's hard to argue with tipster Mike G. when he asserts that this is the "happiest place on earth."

Kodi N. "thought you would like this dong submission. Nothing like mushroom dong!" So true, Kodi N. So true.

Tipster Matthew E. shared this "Sign of a Penis in Kent State logo." Guesses as to which one is Matthew E.?

Tipster Tom K. "was looking up Stirling engines for physics homework when I stumbled upon this gem of a diagram on Wikipedia." Tom K. is now showing this to his pals in the Physics club, where they talk about physics, the properties of physics and things that look like dongs.

Nick B.'s "friend's four-year-old son found this rock that looks like a dong. Thought you might be interested." Thought right, Nick B. Thought right.

Writes tipster Matt W., "We found this unnamed bottle of tequila (Dong Julio?) at a disease infested Mexican restaurant in St. Louis after a Cardinals game. I think the photo with the ginger kid really gives some perspective to how lifelike the dong truly is."

What's most pleasing about tipster Jenna S.'s facial-hair dong submission — "Now that's what I call Triple D! Diners, Drive-ins and Dong on the chin! Thanks Food Network!" — is that she signed it with a :) before her name. We're all smiling with you, Jenna S. Except that dude who grew a blondong on his face. He's all like, "Oh man, it doesn't really look like a dong, does it?" And his enablers are all like, internally, "Do we tell him? It'll crush his soul." And then a disgruntled enabler decides to man (or woman) up and tell him, "Yes, it looks like a dong," smiling inside as he (or she) watches the will to live disappear from blondong's face and soul.

Per "Pepito, the Biggest Cat in the whole wide world," you can get just about anything you need in Abuja, Nigeria if you find yourself within the planning-dong zone. Looks like "Pepito, the Biggest Cat in the whole wide world" is right, too.

Also, there's some dong on the Albany County (NY) transit map. But you probably already knew that. If you're from Albany County. And, you're a dong-in-map hunter. Like a certain tipster who wishes to remain anonymous. Because he probably feels it's best his neighbors don't know he was looking for dongs in the Albany transit map. Which really defeats the whole purpose of finding it. Smile, anonymous tipster. Embrace your special gift.

Tessa N. caught herself perusing last week's unintentional dong submissions. It inspired her, as inspiration is the aim of this recurring feature. Anyways, Tessa "had to send in mine from a recent hike in MN." Ent dong!

Tipster Steve, who was just in Belgium, notes that "Even the Flemish get in on the act." By which he means "Horeca Totaal" must translate into utensil-fashioned dong.

Ian B. writes, "Cup of cheese spread. Picture was taken by a customer of ours who apparently thought he won something." So, Ian B. apparently works at a cheese-spread peddling business of some sort.

Yum. (H/T Matt P.)