Tipster Lauren C. seems like as good a place as any to start this week's dongphoria. As she explains, "My friend is an elementary school teacher and this is a picture of what she confiscated from a boy in her class. He told her it was Yoda with a light saber."
Just finished looking at the picture Lauren C. submitted and noticed something. The kid said it was Yoda with a light saber yet the light saber is not green as Yoda's traditionally is. What's up with that?
Drew C. brings the snow-dong thunder from the greater St. Louis area.
Andrew work in a door factory in Michigan. Door factory? Didn't know such things existed. Thought doors grew on trees. Digress. Per Andrew: "Somebody custom ordered this bad lad. Hopefully their glass has pair of nuts to really accentuate this work of art."
Per Natemac, "Saw this posted on the wall at my daughter's preschool. Not her class but guessing it came from a kid in the 3-4 yo range. Names have been crudely redacted to protect the innocent."
Ken P.'s "4-year-old daughter made this picture of/for me recently. ... We've been meaning to move her art station away from shower, but haven't gotten around to it yet. Then again, maybe my daughter just thinks I'm a dickhead. And no, I did not dye my pubes green. Not sure what that's all about."
Per snoop-a-loop, "a drawing of mice my 4-year-old made. That kid's going to be in demand in about ten years!"
DeezerD comes correct with this ditty "from a geometry worksheet for high schoolers, introducing us to polygon dong (polydong?). Dirty."
From Jarissa S.: "The dong-o-phone. Elementary school poster for a talent show in Ashwaubenon, WI."
This one's from Michael Dongski. Don't know if it's his real name. But whatever. Unintentional dong. Dongski. See the connection there? I'm sure you do. We all do. Anyway, the time is Dongski's:
"While shopping for my girlfriend for Christmas Break I was in Oak Brook, Illinois at Oak Brook Center mall, I was annoyed by all the shoppers who had their heads in their ass shopping and was ready to leave yet I knew that I had a reason for being at this location on that certain day.
"While exiting Macy's I figured I would be polite and hold the door for a nice elderly couple who looked as annoyed as I did with the other shoppers and upon exiting, there it was: This ordinary tree had a 'knot' in it that looked like a dong."
Writes Kristen H., "Chodely Lobster pastry, yummm. Cream filled?" Because Kristen H. is a naughty, naughty girl.
And writes Kelly N., "This was on a friend's Facebook page showing off her yummy valentines dinner. I guess I just didn't know lobsters had dongs like that." Because Kelly N.'s foodie-exhibitionist friend is naughty, too.
"Heff" has a friend. She works at a Canadian restaurant chain which offers "all-day breakfast." Yum. Anyway, "last Wednesday for her pre-shift meal, she asked the cooks to make her a pancake shaped like a rocket ship. Caveat emptor, I says." I don't know what that means, "Heff," but that pancake looks like a dong, doesn't it?
Tipster Dan brings some international flair to this week's installment. He "saw this outside a deli/convenience store in Kutna Hora, Czech Republic, a town that's an hour or so east of Prague. Tourists shopping for she-male vampire blowjobs will be disappointed – apparently, Kostelecke Uzeniny is a purveyor of meat products of the canned variety."
Your tour guide, Dustin Q., points out that "This is at the Riata Apartments in Houston, TX. Way to go architect." He also provided a website for apartment seekers.
"Based on the seat maps for his concert tour: Blake Shelton is coming into your town, and he's bringing his 'Hillbilly Bone' with him," writes David P. "Yes, he has a song called 'Hillbilly Bone' and it was a hit country song."
Asks Garry about a snow toy that may have gotten previous TWIUDS attention, "What about this dong-sledge for children? Just look at little Timmy on the picture above gripping it tightly."
Branden R. shares this image of "a bench back-rest in a Mexican Restaurant located in McDonough, Ga." Unity. Teamwork. Cohesion.
Nick L. goes to Xavier "and was zoning out in marketing research class, then snapped out of it and this slide was on the screen." Which is to say Nick L. like dong very much.
And, finally, Daniel B. writes, "Smallest one yet? This microdong clipping represents the shape of Amtrak's hole punch."