What will Daulerio do to you if you pass out drunk around him? Teabag? Gorilla mask? Read more

Damn, why didn't I think of that? Read more

@lieutenant winslow: Lieutenant Winslow, I presume? Read more

Maybe, no, maybe, maybe Read more

Jim Abbott would be more appropriate. Read more

Just to be safe, Yogi is making a "Rule of 3's" call to Whitey Ford tonight. Read more

ESPN will never, ever do this again Read more

@Jefferson Short Bus: +1 Read more

Making your own free agency a two-year drama capped off with a variety show directed by Senor Spielbergo falls squarely in the purview of FLAMING FUCKING DICK MOVES Read more

Will this be cross-posted to Jezebel? Read more

Maybe you can do a Jezebel live chat and they can ask you stuff like "Team Edward or Team Jacob?" and "why can't I find a boyfriend that listens to me as well as my cat does?" Read more

It's not a question of whether that cat is named after a Twilight character, but which one. Read more

Kobayashi will argue that stage crashing cannot be prosecuted under Piper v. McMahon. Read more

Ha ha, wasn't it crazy when this happened back in 2007? I was so high at the time. Deadspin was way better back then. Read more

@MattorShirley: I think that's the first time someone has said "Holla" on Deadspin unironically. Read more

A pimply kid with the worst internship ever Read more

In his defense, Nevada Smiths was showing Up on the screen next to the one with the game. Read more

You know, I was once invited to watch a cockfight with former Senator Larry Craig but...there was some sort of miscommunication on that. Read more

I thought Taylor was a Tar Heel, not a Ute. Read more

Thanks for not choosing "Hurdy Gurdy Man" for the USA goal. That would've scared us shitless. Read more