Yo, assholes. Read more
Sorry for the glitch. Everyone resume masturbating. Read more
@Bobby Big Wheel: Don't touch my tail, you'll make it dirty. Read more
@Bobby Big Wheel: That wouldn't have been insensitive! Read more
@SpiritusMundi: I do 'em all the night before, but I'm up now. Good morning. Read more
@Kris Fulton: MLB Network. Read more
@DirkToberFest: Yeah, it's why AJ only lets me wear shorts once twice a month. I already maxed that, but he wasn't here today. Read more
Real TV nerds remember her from Reba and the short-lived Jeffrey Tambor "comedy" Welcome To The Captain. Read more
@UweBollocks: That's still one of my favorite DUANs. Read more
@Samer Ocho Cinco: It wasn't even like that. He asked me for my phone number and I thought he was going to call me so we could watch the hockey game tonight. : ( Read more
@Armen Tamzarian: Yacht is in the yacht shop, listening to yacht rock though. Lots of it. Read more
Goddamnit. All of the texts will be going on the previously mentioned Tumblr. Along with the numbers of the callers that hangup. Read more