I’m the puppet. Read more

Also Ted’s soup. I love Ted’s 100 can of honeymoon Campbell’s Chunky soup. Read more

Good kinja Read more

Fuck this is a good question. Read more

me Read more

I’m you Read more

I’m embarrassed by literally everything that I write Read more

is it a good dog Read more

my heroes Read more

Jesus this is depressing Read more

This is an incorrect take. Read more

ya Read more

No, I just want you to be happy. Read more

hm Read more

Because the vast majority of people are idiots. Read more

I’m from Texas, and the only effect I think it’s had is that it’s empowered me to better shit on Texas. Read more

Sup Read more

This isn’t technically fluoride but one time my dentist had on purple gloves, which I thought was odd but didn’t say anything. Then when he stuck his fingers in my mouth, I realized they were grape flavored. It tasted like a grape ring pop if that ring pop was made of latex and also had been urinated on. Read more

He is not a billionaire. Read more

I CAN’T AND I’M NOT Read more