Look, I know that, you know that, but maybe, just maybe, the cops don't know that. Read more
Bring Back Anthony Mason
bringbackanthonymason
"In this respect, achieving drunkenness is like achieving orgasm: The wise and cool and attractive people take their time and share the journey with other wise and cool and attractive people;" Read more
Threw up out the window while I was driving approximately 60 mph on the Staten Island Expressway, with a terrified passenger sitting shotgun. Read more
Pictured: Sports Illustrated legal analyst "Michael McCann"
"Media", of course, being the name of the stripper who leaked this news to the press after the orgy. Read more
People are probably going to get surgery to give themselves this type of brachydactyly, given Tannehill's tendency to make any D look good. Read more
[Wes Welker would pay for recreational drugs, such as speed, with pounds instead of dollars, if he were in London.] Read more
"I was going too fast at 300 pounds to stop" Read more
Why does a basketball arena even need a retractable lid? Read more
I don't know much about design patents, but, yeah, probably. I don't think the inventor was going to get a utility patent on this, no matter how s/he spun it. Read more
<i>Please enjoy what is almost certainly the best insurrectionist anthem ever written about getting in trouble for shooting pigeons with an air rifle.</i> Read more
Congratulations! Just don't let the baby see the comments or it will stunt her growth. Read more
their sometimes-rocky transitions to the pros. Read more
They'll be so proud to show you the shiv made of popsicles that he mails them! Read more
and we know the people of Minnesota do not want their money killing birds. Read more
the Queen's bloodstock and racing advisor John Warren said. Read more