Three years ago, I was the only scout saying Rondo is overrated, and I was crucified for it. Read more

According to his UNC CV, he also wrote a paper on the transformative hermeneutics of quantum gravity that will blow your mind. Read more

I assume the people responsible redshirted the car because they don't expect it to start. Read more

"I have no idea where is," a person close to Muema said. Read more

If your girlfriend sons you, you sheepishly laugh it off then keep it moving. If your girlfriend ethers you, you quit your job and end up on the Deadspin front page. Read more

Considering the guy is apparently famous enough to have one of those "put your face in here and pretend to be his girlfriend then take a picture" attractions at a local restaurant, is it really that surprising he was able to pull so much ass? Read more

Hello! DeMaurice Read more

Here's the thing though, if you take aspirin for a headache that stems from a brain tumor, it will probably help the headache, right? I don't think you'd actually be taking the aspirin to cure the brain tumor, but it does relieve the headache. If you're taking the aspirin to cure the tumor, it's possible that the… Read more

Interviewer: Which weighs more, a pound of bricks or a pound of paper clips? Read more

Some said that the new Kinja wouldn't change the quality of the puns around here, but I think it's made a vas deferens. Read more

INMATE: Dry rub.
HERNANDEZ: Wet rub.
INMATE: Dry rub.
HERNANDEZ: Wet rub.
INMATE: DRY RUB.
HERNANDEZ: WET RUB.
INMATE: DRY RUB.
HERNANDEZ: WET RUB.
PANTLESS INMATE: [Rolls eyes] Really, I'd just as soon take my fantasy winnings in cigarettes, guys. Read more

Needless to say, the weapon was not a jump shot. Read more

It's at this point that he gives in to momentum and just plunges into the crowd, his useless legs the only part of his body visible. Read more

They refused to adopt Buddy because, of course, he reminded them too much of their former owner.

I'm currently writing a tune about a puppy who died because his owner's car was blocked by a Memorial Day parade. Read more

Florio messed up a crucial part of the story. The Browns were simply trying to acquire a quarterback that was younger than Brandon Weeden. Read more