Love me a good locker room nap. Read more

The Nice Guys ruled. You eat shit. Read more

YES. Read more

No I’ve bought my tree there. But it was a bad tree. When you buy precut ones, you gamble with a tree that may die soon. Read more

Too many calories. I get the appeal but I’d be dead meat by 930 if I ate a goddamn Belgian waffle on a Tuesday morning. Read more

Not quite sure where to put it yet. I started off a but skeptical, but then they jacked up the intensity a whole fucking lot. Read more

Anyone but Marchman. Read more

Bad dog. It’s clearly hiding something. Read more

What he said. Read more

Saltine bark. Pure evil. http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/trisha-yearwood/sweet-and-saltines-recipe.html Read more

Kia Soul! Toot toot! Read more

Meringue mushrooms! Read more

Star Wars. Read more

What video game movie has ever been good? Read more

People say this every year, like with SNL. Go watch a ‘99 Browns game and see if it’s much better Read more

Bigass chef knife, the kind you keep in a fancy cloth and shit. Read more

Will you give it up already Read more

ADDENDUM: I wrote this without realizing that you CANNOT get your sub toasted at Jimmy Johns. Read more

Holy shit. Read more

Your friend is grasping. Anyone who says “give him a chance” is waiting for the same face turn that the GOP never got. I understand the need to be optimistic, but Trump is truly awful and I can’t even count on him to erratically stumble his way into any good deed. Read more