Once legal weed sweeps the nation, they’ll call those bags what they are: ounce bags. Read more

Do they not have tacos in Argentina? Read more

4. Has Ben Affleck ever met an autistic person? Read more

I disagree about the roman numerals. You can’t just abandon something you have done for 49 fucking years because you suddenly don’t like the look of a solitary “L”. That was some weak shit. Either use the roman numerals or don’t, but be consistent dammit. Read more

Do you know why I remain a Patriots fan Drew? Because of my father. I lived in Maine my entire childhood and teenage years. I remember the shit years, the years where Velcro on the gloves wouldn’t have helped the receivers make catches. For years we were the butts of the NFL. Then suddenly Mo Lewis knocks out Bledsoe… Read more

Goddamn, those Scooby Snacks are illegally delicious. My boss bought 3 boxes of them on tuesday, they’re almost gone today. They taste like caramalized sugar and cinnammon but with crack sprinkled on top. These should be outlawed for causing me immediate Diabetes.
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Ah yes, the “frontier justice” of...winning a trophy, and shaking hands with the guy presenting you that trophy while he looks slightly uncomfortable. Just like back in the wild west. Read more

“Tell you what, men: we’re gonna surprise the Falcons by NOT covering Julio Jones.” Read more

They used to make a scooby doo cereal that was pretty much those graham crackers but smaller(cereal sized?) and even more cinnamon sugar crack on them. It was amazing.
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I operated the scoreboard and music for the club hockey team at my college for a couple games. Usually there were two of us, but for one “playoff” game I was alone. I was also more interested in hilarious and offensive music breaks. So sometimes the clock didn’t stop or start when it was supposed to stop or start.… Read more

A few weeks ago, my extremely moody and snotty-ass 13-year-old was giving me the usual bullshit as I was asking her to put on her seatbelt (all the while, refusing to put on her seatbelt). I was just wrecked from everything, my job, the election, you name it, and I leaned over and screamed, “Put on your mother-fucking… Read more

I have cooked a whole pig’s head before, by braising it in wine and hoping and praying the meat would fall off the bone. It does not. What it DOES is fill the kitchen with an unholy sickly sweet reek that takes days of open windows, candles, incense, and a few sage smudges to get rid of. One of the grossest things… Read more

It’s okay, Drew. Josh Brown is here to remind you that the NFL acknowledges life outside of football, too. Read more

Drew, my man, don’t become “Old Man Yells at Cloud.” Read more

1) Lots of young people watch The Bachelor
2) The only fucking young people you know are sports writers.
3) Therefore, the young people you know watch The Bachelor.

Drew, my man, don’t become “Old Man Yells at Cloud.”
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“The fact that Chargers fans get to live in San Diego isn’t as much of a solace as you think, either. When you’re unhappy, Southern California can be the loneliest fucking place in the world”.
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When I saw Bob Schnelker’s name, I felt obligated to post this:

Nary a mention of Stan Humphries, who along with Merrill Hoge was one of the first players I remember retiring due to concussions—he was firmly entrenched as their starting quarterback when he had to call it quits at only age 31 or 32 as I recall. I remember thinking at the time how weird it was, the idea that a… Read more

The fact that Chargers fans get to live in San Diego isn’t as much of a solace as you think, either. 
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Gruden’s excuse isn’t surprising, the man takes every opportunity to express his hatred of the new CBA. Every time there was a shitty game on MNF he would always take time to blame the damn CBA. There are too many penalties, blame the CBA; a receiver drops a pass, blame the CBA; a safety fucks up his coverage, blame… Read more