Let's not be so hasty to judge him. Maybe he thought 'Double A' stood for 'Alcoholics Anonymous'. Read more

Are we sure that was an accident, and not part of some weird, German mating ritual? Read more

On the negligible chance that we ever run out of dead wrestlers, I hereby volunteer to murder one a week so this column can continue. Read more

@Silky John-STON!: Sorry, Silky's was awesome. Stev D's...meh. Read more

On the bright side, he and Amare's mom sort of hit it off at their bail hearings. Read more

@Stev D: Awesome. Read more

They feed through their leg tubes. Read more

Those exist, right? Read more

@Lionel Osbourne: That seems to be happening a lot these days. Read more

He gets extra points for forcing the reporter to interview him in the nude. Read more

Nice to see you back on t.v., Dave. Although I am still upset with your decision not to do a third season of Flight of the Conchords. Read more

The video cuts out before Bobby Heenan runs in and snatches the bag. Read more

Order now, and they'll throw in an ashtray shaped like a dog's forehead. Read more

"Wolp! Fack!" is the sound of Tommy Heinsohn getting kicked in the nuts. Read more

@MarkKelsosMigraine: But I was home. And I'm only 0% French. Read more

So help me if those bastard Philadelphians come up here and boo Père Noël... Read more

Invent my ass a fucking hoverboard, and make it light and maneuverable. Read more

@twoeightnine: @J-No: Oh, I guess that whole sentence up there just doesn't exist? Read more

@twoeightnine: The fact he's even this close to a title is tough to stomach. Read more

@SponsoredbyV8: Tarhell indeed, SbV8. Tarhell indeed. Read more