"PRONGER" is also the least offensive personalized license plate at any given Tea Party rally. Read more
Gourmet Spud
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The best part about all this ridiculous hype will be seeing LeBron re-sign with Cleveland, Wade re-sign with the Heat, and Chris Bosh get expelled from the league when it's revealed he has 60% lizard DNA. Read more
What else was he going to do? Ronald Synan III was getting his ass kicked out there! Read more
Yet he was surprisingly indifferent to the guy who donkey-hoofed him in the chest. Read more
You were right, Luke - the story is infinitely sexier when you don't disclose that the song was Coolio's "I'll CU When You Get There". Read more
History dictates he won't be unemployed for long; the last Ferry to get run out of Cleveland already has a QB job with the Broncos. Read more
@David Matthews: My God. The power. The...power. Read more
@Phintastic: I wanted to promote it, but apparently that also stars it now. So I panicked and unstarred. Read more
@Gilbert Publicly Funded Arenas: Giggle. Read more
@twoeightnine: Exactly. Read more
Tip for those visiting the porn arcade: 99.9% of the time, it isn't a roll of quarters. Read more
Hey, even the little weird kids at the Make-A-Wish Foundation get to make a request. Read more
Has he just twied going Cowd Tuwkey? Read more
It goes from 0 to 90 in ten seconds, plus injury time. Read more
$6,000 a month for a personal chef. Read more
If Ortiz ever managed to leg out a triple, they'd have their Jim Fixx moment as well. Read more
So, so good. Read more