What to watch while locking yourself in your bathroom, reading the minutes from last week's Porn Club meeting...
• 7 p.m. — Drag Racing: NHRA Auto Club of Southern California finals, Pomona, California. Ahh! which way do I turn? Which way do I turn? [ESPN2]
• 8 p.m. — NCAA Football: SMU at Houston. Phil Bennett, you're fired. Now, couldya pretty please stick around and coach the Mustangs for the rest of the season? [ESPN]
• 8:15 p.m. — NFL: Dallas Cowboys at Philadelphia Eagles. All week everyone's been talking about Terrell Owens returning to Philad... wha?? [NBC]
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